This weekend I was on my first (this year) multi day bike trip. Let’s just say that I am super tired after these 275 km this weekend. But it was amazing maybe next weekend i will do something similar if weather permits.

I talked about this later on in the other thread, but I came out to my sister (probably the one member of my family who isn’t completely deranged), and she was super accepting! We met up again the day after for Easter at my mom’s, and she gave me a bag with a bunch of her old clothes and some extra makeup stuff. 🥹

I’m so proud of myself because on my new meds I finally managed to get my bum into first gear and close a whole bunch of tasks, including for my work. I’m simply giddy to try out a lot of fun stuff too like go into nature, the city, visit the cinema and play some games :)))

I’ve got a stack of mail that has actual weight, and that actually has lower prio than a whole bunch of other things. So go figure!

I’m considering to make a gofundme to deal with all the financial issues and related anxiety.

Hrm. Haven’t been pacing well lately. Need to sort that out. Fucking exhausted.

In good news, I had my first appointment with the new psychiatrist yesterday. A pleasant experience, which hopefully bodes well.

I feel like I should feel amazing. I finally got to see Niagara Falls and it was even more breathtaking than I imagined. While I was there, I was so happy I almost cried.

But it was surrounded by long, depressing days stuck in a small hotel room with people I have baggage with, watching them sleep. Now I’m home and my friend group is still broken and my job still sucks. No one cares about my art or my writing anymore, and I have no one to share my experience with.

I liked the few minutes I didn’t feel tethered to my mean, dysfunctional family, I guess. Now that I’m home I’m remembering I’m stuck with them, everyone else is gone and everything else sucks.

Trying to recover from ending a couple bad friendships and the fallout that cokes with it

We have had to make the decision to euthanise our old boy dog, which will happen tomorrow. He is such a gentle and loveable thing and making this decision has been so hard, especially as mentally he is fine. He has been struggling with his hips for a while and the walks have been getting shorter and shorter. Even with pain killers he is struggling. He’s too old for prosthetics or an operation the vet advised that the deterioration is happening faster, so rather act now before his life is too painful and uncomfortable.

So this is making the week a bit stressful. But other than this, the weeks is going fine. Have to focus on the good.

This past week was a bit of a doozy. Lost power and a way out of our dead end street on Thursday morning when a tree fell across our road and took a power pole with it. A neighbor who’s an electrician and I cut the way out for the street and cleared one travel lane despite the fire department’s protests, while two other neighbors with plows cleared what they could. Power was restored Sunday night, but none of the crews cleared the road obstruction, so another neighbor with a bigger tractor than the rest of us rolled up and cleared it.

I’m fortunate enough to be able to carry on phone conversations while I’m doing the tasks for our nursery, so I started calling the town manager and the chiefs of the fire and EMS crews to start a conversation about having a real plan for the next time it happens. And it will, because Maine passed a law several years ago that incentivized the power utility to do as little as possible maintaining the trees near the lines. I started a text chain with the neighborhood to keep them updated on what’s being discussed and to solicit feedback and suggestions for the solutions we’d like to present to the town, and that text chain has gotten the neighbors offering further assistance to each other to help recover from the storm (does my little socialist heart proud!). Folks have been dropping off cookies and stopping by to thank me, even though I keep telling them it’s just my way of repaying them for being wonderful neighbors.

In other news, all the plants I stupidly potted before the storm survived!

Still waiting around for that post-winter mental health rebound to show up…

weekend before last, my little dog jean went to an agility competition. she didn’t win (or even qualify), but she ran a whole course! she hopped of the dog walk halfway up, probably because she got spooked on the teeter during a practice session the other day.

loki (aussie) will be competing in four agility runs this weekend, so fingers crossed that goes well.

echo (border collie) is doing really well in her canine good citizen class. she has her test in a few weeks, and i’m confident she’ll pass with flying colors.

i was house/dog sitting last week, and the dog killed a squirrel right in front of me the first day i was there… so that’s a new one. owner said the dog has always chased squirrels, but that’s the first time she actually caught one. 😳 (the dog is fine, up to date on shots and no injuries from the squirrel, despite being bitten.)

i finally found a primary care provider. basically been putting it off since we moved last year, but my knee has been bothering me lately (training up for a week-long ride in july), so i knew i needed to go get that checked out.

Going great, having some issue with my new 3D printer but nothing that won’t be solved with a replacement part or three (fucking prusa MK4 expansion joints, impossible to source anywhere but from the prusa site and they strip easier than a desperate sex worker), but regardless of that my relationship with meghan is progressing very well, we moved onto the ‘i love you’ stage after she accidentally blurted it out after I gave her a gift and we both kinda just rolled with it.

She also left this very cute note after our last date for me to find when I got back from dropping her home. So life is great right now, I start my job this coming Monday too.

A bit miserable this week. Got sick, and haven’t been able to sleep more than a few hours a night as a result, which is making it worse.

A misery snowball effect.

Hoping I can get a full night’s sleep soon 🤞

First day of Eid here and I happened to twist my foot while getting out of the shower. Hurts. Tried to play Command & Conquet but man…i have never really gotten into RTS games and strategy making.

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Still hemming and hawing over attempting a career change into being a Digital Court Reporter or something else, but my current workplace is gonna have a probably good leader soon who can maybe turn things around… so maybe I’ll kick the career can down the road further…