radishnt

which one of u was going to tell me that tea tastes different if u put it in hot water?

———

mothman-misato

y- you were putting it in cold water???

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boimgfrog

Radish. Answer the question radish.

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radishnt

yeah??? i thought for like. 5 years that ppl just put it in hot water 2 speed up the tea-ification process didn’t realize there was an actual reason

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boimgfrog

#u think i have the patience to boil water wtf ???

You dont have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes???

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catsnraincoats

[ID: Tags reading “u think i have the patience to boil water wtf???” /End ID]

why are you. putting it in the microwave to boil it

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boimgfrog

Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove

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catsnraincoats

Its takes less than a minute

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boimgfrog

Bestie is ur stovetop powered by the fucking sun

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catsnraincoats

How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove

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boimgfrog

Like seven minutes

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catsnraincoats

Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat n it boils in like two minutes… less than that is u use a saucepan…

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boimgfrog

Crying you’re putting the whole mug on the stove ??? On medium heat??? Ur stove is enchanted

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pidoop

Every single person in this post is a fucking lunatic

———

silverjirachi

Yet another post that reads like four shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief

———

wizardlyghost

(Enter RADISHN’T, MOTHMAN MISATO, BOIMG FROG and CATS’N RAINCOATS, stage left. They are having a HEATED DISCUSSION.)

RADISHN’T: Prithee, which one of you had planned to tell

Of diff’rent flavours gained by simple act

Of brewing tea with water hot, not cold?

MOTHMAN: Egad! you poured the water cold? Wherefore?!

FROG: An answer from you, Radish, I must beg.

RADISHN’T: Indeed I did, dear friends - why does this shock?

Without the guide of others I assumed

That heat was merely added for the sake

Of expediting this solution’s brewing!

Half a decade I have spent, or more,

Not questioning this worldview I had made.

In fact, I am myself a bit surprised

That you might think that I, your dearest friend,

Might have a patience of sufficient stock

To wait until a pot of water boils.

FROG: Three minutes overtaxes patience so?

The microwave will beep when it is done!

CATS’N: My friend, this answer vexes me the more!

Can it be true that thou dost boil by nuke?!

FROG: Are you in turn, my friend, so shocked to know

That I have not the patience, like our Root,

To boil upon the stove our favour’d drink?

CATS’N: It takes less than a minute!

FROG: On what plate?

Perhaps your dinner cooks atop the sun?

CATS’N: How long can take your stove to fill the task

Of boiling but a single cup alone?

FROG: In minutes?

CATS’N: Yes!

FROG: I counted seven, once.

CATS’N: Perhaps you ought to have your timepiece checked!

If on a middle heat you place the cup

You soon will have the scalding drink you crave.

Two minutes, in a mug upon the plate

Or even less, if you should have a pot.

FROG: You cause me tears - is this how thou dost live?

You place upon the iron stove a mug?

A mug, ceramic, filled with water cold?

How do these flames, though medium in height,

Not shatter like a glass this fragile thing?

Surely, then, your kitchen is bewitched

With magicks far beyond the mortal ken!

(The FOUR realise they have wandered into the THRONE ROOM. The ROYAL COURT watches with fascination.)

KING: Ev’ry single person in this group

must be a fucking lunatic, it seems.

  • starman2112@sh.itjust.worksOP
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    6 months ago

    Guys this took me way too long to transcribe but I could not go without posting it. wizardlyghost wrote that shit in iambic pentameter. This is the first time I’ve ever seen someone use iambic pentameter when imitating Shakespeare, and they did it fucking flawlessly

    ETA Y’all magpiecrown illustrated this and it’s the best

    • Zagorath@aussie.zone
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      6 months ago

      I act’ly think they may have done better
      Than William Shakespeare often did himself.

      His lines are full of near approximates
      Of perfect iambic pentameter.

      • Shyfer@ttrpg.network
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        6 months ago

        Well in Shakespeare’s defense, he has to write full plays like that, while this person just got to focus on a scene.

    • Ashen44@lemmy.ca
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      6 months ago

      I greatly appreciate you posting this. That was extremely impressive and absolutely hilarious!

  • Zagorath@aussie.zone
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    6 months ago

    To be honest I would use the microwave before I’d use the stove. Stove takes ages because it has to heat up the bottom of the mug before it actually starts transferring into the water.

    But holy shit guys. Kettles are literally designed for this purpose.

  • teft@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    I went in thinking no way would I think these people could all be lunatics. I was wrong.

    • zaphod@jlai.lu
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      6 months ago

      They’re probably americans (doesn’t matter which flavour), their kettles are low powered because of that low 120V mains and not wanting to spend more on thicker wires.

  • copd@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Posts like this make me want to turn on the max vertical height setting on my feed. But blocking OP instead also works

    • Julian@lemm.ee
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      6 months ago

      Making this comment was literally more effort then it would have taken to change the setting.

      • copd@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        Unfortunately I don’t get to choose my own numerical value to truncate the post. It’s a binary setting on my client, I don’t mind it when someone wants to post double the usual height but this post takes the liberty too far.

        I don’t want to hinder other posts in my feed just because of this one user, therefore blocking them and others may just be enough. It’s very fast and the beauty of Lemmy, anyone is welcome to block me back if they don’t want to see my opinions again.

        Lemmy ftw

    • TJA!@sh.itjust.works
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      6 months ago

      Scrolling through my feed, this post takes up about 2/3 of my screen at most. I didn’t see the problem here? It’s not very difficult to scroll past that.

      • copd@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        This post is screenshots of mobile phone apps, if viewed on a mobile phone with similar aspect ratio it’ll take up 5 or so full phone screens. And that’s without the text script

        • starman2112@sh.itjust.worksOP
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          6 months ago

          It is 11 of my screen, with the image and transcript together. I do wish there was a better way to share the full thing without inconveniencing anyone

          • PatMustard@feddit.uk
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            6 months ago

            You only inconvenienced one person who doesn’t know how to set their client to view posts the way they actually want to see them, don’t worry!

    • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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      6 months ago

      I’m assuming you were trying to be insulting, which is why I ultimately downvoted you, but I originally laughed, snorted, and upvoted.

      If you were going for comedic irony, I’ll gladly reup