Absolutely! You don’t have any say in what family you are born into, they might be good, might suck ducks, more likely somewhere in between. You can choose family that are not biologically related to you, and love them as purely or even more so than you do biological family. Many refer to their close friends as chosen family for this very reason. Love who you love and be happy, no matter who may try to piss on your happiness.

Umm wasn’t Sagan responsible for scientology?

Thank you for responding. I have boiled down the aggregate of answers as basically a tankie supports authoritarianism, or use of violence to deal with opposition. If this take is incorrect, someone please correct where I have it wrong. Btw, I have deliberately ignored references to left/right as meaningless in my quest for information.

Thank you all for your help, it is much appreciated!

That looks like a slicker type brush, but I could be wrong. Maybe try something with softer bristles and see if it’s more easily tolerated?

Darwin award winner in the making

Sex is one area where surprises are generally a very bad idea. Many relationships have ended because one partner thought the other would enjoy x, only to find out that they were disgusted/insulted/traumatized/etc instead. It is difficult and may be impossible to recover from this type of oops.

The best idea is to set aside some relaxed time to discuss interests, curiosities and hard limits with your partner. Probably start with the hard limits so you don’t stomp all over them with your interests. Then decide to try out one thing you both are interested in. Keep communication open at all times. Go slow. Keep in mind that some (many) people have been sexually assaulted or abused in some way and that will make them incredibly sensitive to anything that recalls those feelings.

You want this relationship to be as enjoyable as possible for as long as possible? Yes? Don’t take chances, be smart, be kind, communicate openly and good things will happen. I promise.

Just know that I for one appreciate the hell out of you. I don’t have the technical skills to do what you do, and to be perfectly honest, I don’t have the patience either. It amazes me that people with the skills volunteer their time to do this mostly thankless work which makes communities more enjoyable. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!

Sunk cost fallacy is my assumption, but take that with a grain of salt. I’m one of those low tech savvy old farts people talk about. I left because making it harder for moderators to do their jobs means communities that I love will be less safe and welcoming. Maybe the rest have to experience that discomfort for themselves before they too are driven away. Or they think they can ride this out and continue as before when things settle down.