Ah yes, those leftist police I’m always hearing about…

“If we use vote by mail the election won’t be secure!”

Not necessarily

“I’ll make sure of it!”

I hadn’t thought about that one. I occasionally use the word kiddo, but only to say, “hey kiddo!” I never use it to talk about my kids, like “we took the kiddos to the park yesterday.”

I don’t think it’s some latent psychological issue. I get along great with my mom, and I’ve never felt any resentment toward her. I’m also not bothered by words like mom, moms, mother, etc. I don’t even mind when my sons call my wife “mommy.” It’s just that one word, “momma,” that bugs me. I wish I had an explanation.

Mama, momma, mommas…

“Hey Facebook mommas, I’ve got a question about…”

I don’t know why, but it annoys the shit out of me.

“Stop the count!”

Why?

“Because I’m winning!”

Every time something bad happens when a white man is in charge I’m going to say it happened because the boat/company/whatever wasn’t woke enough.

I can understand only arresting 6 people, because I doubt very many people had their hands on the actual website. But the fact that hundreds of thousands of people actually interacted with the site is downright mind boggling.

…hundreds of thousands of users

ಠ_ಠ

Now I hear Treebeard whining about modern females and how none of them want to be Entwives for alpha Ents

Working class American men ferociously oppose any attempts to address this. Is there a name for this particular form of stockholm syndrome?

The official hat of “females always pick the chads, even though I dress better than all these normies!”

Same. If Zillow is correct my house is worth 90k more than we paid for it, but I can’t sell it because everything else went up with it, and I’m locked into a stupid low interest rate. It’s like someone gave me a beer that never gets empty, but I also have to hold it forever. If I want to switch to a different drink I’m shit outta luck, but I can’t really complain because I always have the beer 🤷‍♂️

Supply and demand. Stop letting people (or corporations) buy more than one house and watch prices fall. I own a home, and I’m perfectly willing to see it lose value in order to avoid seeing my country turn into some modern feudalistic hellhole.

remigration

Saved you a click

We’ll just need to build some places to keep them all together until we can get them out. Probably most efficient to get them there by train. Wait…

Might’ve been my kid. Took him to the doctor a few weeks ago and as soon as we got to the check-in desk he decided to throw up all over the desk, the rug in front of the desk, and me. I had extra clothes to change him into, but of course I didn’t bring extra clothes for me so I got to spend the next hour at the doctors office smelling like vomit.

I got banned for downvoting. Kind of hard to take people seriously when they’re so sensitive to criticism that the equivalent of a thumbs down emoji gets you banned.

Same, except Will Arnett’s voice doesn’t make me physically cringe. It just makes me envious.