ADVENCHA

Little known history facts 🙏

“Oh no! The fascists I supported are being fascists!”

Yes

ROCK GARDEN HOURS

Urban militia, but yes, an excellent example! Robert of Artois, the commander of the French forces, in particular was noted to have attempted to surrender, but the Flemish militiamen who found him claimed to not speak French, and killed him on the spot.

where narwhal

Just common practice - though usually monarchs who were captured were captured in battle rather than while travelling. In fact, holding nobility for ransom was a big part of ‘knightly’ warfare in the High Medieval Period - and the higher their rank, the higher the ransom!

(Also fantastic meme lol)

I aim to entertain! 🙇‍♂️

Explanation: A rare bit of OC from me. The medieval English King Richard I, ‘The Lionheart’, returned from the Third Crusade reasonably successful, but bad weather forced his ship aground before reaching England. In a hurry to get home, Richard attempted to travel overland to get to the next viable port - typical of his impatience and impulsiveness, he did so through the lands of Duke Leopold of Austria. Both men were stubborn hotheads, and had developed something of a feud during the Third Crusade, ending with Leopold leaving the Crusade in fury after being disrespected by King Richard.

Reasonably suspecting that he may not be entirely welcome after that, King Richard opted to travel incognito, disguised as a simple country knight returning from crusade.

The issue? Richard was a king, and his expensive tastes worked against him - perhaps especially after sharing in the misery of the supply-starved Crusaders in the Holy Land. After a stop in a local inn, he requested a chicken be roasted for his consumption - chicken was not a particularly ‘rich’ meat, but any traveler who should be watching their funds asking for an innkeep to pluck and roast a chicken just for him whilst on the road is certainly no poor man - not even a poor knight!

This raised enough suspicions that word reached Leopold - who was on alert after hearing of Richard’s ship - and Leopold sent a force to arrest the undercover king, holding him for ransom and eventually extracting the equivalent of two years’ income of the entire kingdom of England for Richard’s release.

Quite the price for a roast chicken!

WHAT IS THE CHARGE? EATING A MEAL!? A SUCCULENT AUSTRIAN MEAL!? THIS IS MONARCHY MANIFEST!

If I wanted to be swarmed by insects, I’d go to the woods.

Abolish lawns

What a stupid fucking timeline this is

And what a stupid fucking country

Too fucking late for that, twats. You sold America’s future for the hope of lower taxes. Now we all have to pay, and no amount of buyer’s remorse will fix it.

Monkeyshines

That’s an utterly fucking bizarre position considering that women in the workplace far predate women’s rights.

Hard-fought victories eroded one at a time, and then all at once.

Fuck.

It’s kind of disturbing that we bred a variety of dog that can scream

Hell yeah

Their brains are far too massive to fall for “Literally quoting official North Korean sources”; it’s an ancient shitlib propaganda trick

Want? On the contrary, I’m terrified of the route we’re going down.

When I say “12 months may be optimistic”, the potential optimism in that statement is that the resistance of US society and institutions may be overestimated in that timetable.

Retiarius, got it!

(One of the legitimate tactics of the Retiarius - and why it was sometimes seen as the least ‘manly’ of the gladiator types - was simply to evade their heavier opponent until their opponent was exhausted)