Is that PPLEDGE PPIN?!? ON YOUR UNIFORM!?!

I don’t press hard. If my ass is wet the TP shreds.

Maybe I’m using inferior paper products.

Without water I can press a lot harder.

Once the toilet paper gets wet it shreds like, well, wet toilet paper

They’ll have his head for this

Needs a blinking star GIF background and a MIDI file of the TOS theme

Our experiences are diametrically opposed

Which brings me back to the problem of TP lint on a wet ass

If my arm was constantly covered by two layers of fabric this comic might have a point.

Also, just using a bidet is like washing your car just by hosing it off. Sometimes you need a good scrub.

Also, the appropriate thing to do would be to use soap and water.

You know you’re clean when there’s no poo on the paper.

It’s cause we’re all worthless and weak.

Now drop and give me 20

Corporations are also centrally planned economies where you’re expected to sacrifice yourself for the good of the whole.

Sometimes when I have a particularly heinous dookie I’ll get in the shower afterwards, and I make sure I’m clean by actually wiping my hand across it to see if there’s still poo.

My back and head usually don’t have poo on them. If I had something grimy like that on my head or back I’d want to have a wipe or a mirror to make sure there’s none left.

And prostate exams.

Often at the same time!

I don’t have a problem with lint unless I have to shit while my ass is wet.

Anyone who sticks their hands in my food uninvited is not someone I would like a relationship with.

Respect boundaries.

Yeah but he’s a registered Democrat and should back the nominee.

Unless you’d be okay with Bernie running as an independent in 2016.

Two things I don’t get about bidets: How do you know you’re clean, and how do you dry off without leaving toilet paper lint everywhere?

Someone needs to tell that to Cuomo.

Cuomo is the one violating the VBNMW

He should hold his nose and vote for the nominee.