Aw that’s actually kind of sweet though, my grandmas never texted me before.

Kind of a different scenario but reminds me of when a co-worker took sick days and almost immediately updated their profile picture of them being out-of-state. Left us baffled.

It’d be awesome if they can continue with that mindset but unfortunately I’m a skeptic.

Cat definitely believes it got the short end of the stick having to deal with me, but will accept trade out of sympathy.

So I get yelled at for forgetting to take out my kindle, while they’re missing a whole person slipping past security. Smh

So he too will handwash all of his wife’s clothes out of love and respect… right?

I had the same thought years ago, and also started saving all my voicemail from loved ones to my phone. With a parent and grandparent recently passed, it’s much appreciated to have at least these recordings. I don’t have many vids of them talking directly to me, but these voice messages hit different because for a moment, it almost feels like they’re still alive and reaching out to me.

Beautiful. My eyes are pleased.

Beautiful. But genuinely curious- does a bonsai eventually become a tree? Because that’s bigger than any actual trees I’ve attempted to grow.

From this angle, I feel like the white car’s right rear (or front too?) wheel would hit the curb if a previous car tried parking like the middle car. Or maybe there is more space to white car’s left than it seems. But I’ll still vote ass.

Man that’s pretty disheartening. Guess I’ll just go to bed now.

True that. I still have the washable ones so I guess they’ll have to do for now.

Hm maybe I should’ve held off on giving away all my extra masks…

Penis On Vagina

I don’t trust anything with more than 4 limbs…

You’ve unlocked a core memory for me. Think I was about 4~5 yo, we were on a family trip to a resort. I was sitting on a noodle bent in a U-shape in the pool and had waded towards the middle, still next to the wall though because I didn’t know how to swim. Although my mom always had me wear the life vest, this one time i didn’t as I thought the noodle was all I needed and also didn’t want to look like a baby in front of my older cousins.

Before I even realized, the noodle shot out from under my butt and I just silently sunk. None of that flailing and splashing that they do on TV happens. I also clearly recall just looking up at the super-close surface, gulping down mouthfuls of water in an attempt to breathe, thinking this was the end. And I think the worst part was feeling the wall with my hands but being unable to grab the ledge because it was too high (I was underwater, my arms were short, etc).

My uncle was sitting literally feets away from me, he said he was watching, it just looked like I was playing- bobbing my head in and out. Then he realized I wasn’t coming up and jumped in to save me. My parents almost quite literally threw me into ymca swim classes as soon as we got back home.

If I ever have kids, swim lessons will be a must.

I feel ya.

Whoa there satan. Imagine having to frantically open 10 cans of corn while your pregnant wife is sobbing on the floor for her midnight chili.

Dear Universe, please give us measly humans a break. Sincerely, an exhausted measly human.