I find that digitalocean (which is a VPS provider) has great tutorials.

I often tend to search “how to X site:digitalocean.com”, despite hosting almost everything on my own hardware.

That’s what scares me - not being wrong, but being convinced I’m right for reasons that are more about mood than method.

I think that’ll be the case most of the time. The only known way to get a grasp of reality is cooperation, and the agreement to let experiment be the arbiter of truth. Which is difficult, as many systems can’t easily be experimented on in isolation (and you’re left with counterfactuals only).

Histories greatest thinkers struggled with this too. Descartes changed his famous postulate “je pense donc je suis” to “je doute donc je suis” later in life. (“I think therefore I am”, became “I doubt therefore I am”). I read that as trading reason for emotion as core to his being.

If me and 5 friends read your a-hole, I bet all of us would come to the same conclusion.

Yes, it does. It’s scary how much perception changes

Exactly, and neither is an asshole if that doesn’t match

It could be that she feels stuck. I think she wants growth, dreams, goals, excitement. Not status quo for the rest of your lives.

Neither of you is an asshole, you just have different visions on life 🩷

Except when it does (1)

I don’t get it

Can you explain why and how? Do you imagine other (better?) batteries, or the disappearance of the need for batteries?

Oh noo. Oh yes.

Show people that the left and center are able to provide

I wonder if they can, with the reversed population pyramid most EU countries experience.

In the early 90s something similar happened in Belgium (1).

What lessened the extremism in the following couple of elections was investment (in infrastructure, healthcare, economic opportunities, etc) outside of the cities as well.

It turned out that for every tax frank gathered, 80 cents were spend on prettifying the larger cities and the major port. People were mostly (rightly?) pissed off that government represented a terrible ROI for the same group of people for decades. They would’ve been better of without a federal government. They saw their lives get worse, whilst at the same time that government applauded themselves for the great things they achieved.

I’m not sure how feasible the same solution is today, as there’s very little investment budget anyways. Most of tax revenue goes to pensions and healthcare of a reversed population pyramid.

You can find it on annas-archive as well

noting that I’d like advice on how to better align my actions with my goals (not vice versa).

This book was of help to me.

I’ve visited 2, before landing on one that clicked. I think it’s more related to having had a weird (to them) childhood.

The first two immediatly went panicky upon listening to me. I could sense by their body language and tone. Trying to dig into small details as I hadn’t even gotten to the major parts yet! Making me stiffen up and lock down as well.

The 3rd, my current one, had a more laid back attitude of “woa dude”. Focussing on the present, and only starting to dig in after a few months of stabilizing my situation.

those thoughts are prevalent enough to cause this problem.

Can take people out of the soviet, but can’t take soviet out of the people (1).

Sadly it’s a system of thought that isn’t concerned with observable reality. It’s a sentiment I recognise in most (political) extremists: the idea that your problems must be someone else’s fault (the brown, women, billionairs, … pick your poison).

And, as you noticed, banning it will indeed only validate that sentiment.

(I grew up in DDR, luckily left in early 90s. A solution is therapy, as those people are stuck in generational trauma, which is known to lessen or completely void you of empathy. But that doesn’t scale to halve a country).

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That’s a known coping strategy (1). “My broken leg isn’t a problem, the problem is that other’s legs aren’t broken”.

I prefer someone with neither napoleon nor jesus complex.

There’s no room next to the onion. That’s where I keep my other onion.