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Cake day: June 30th, 2023

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  • No, it’s basically an entire day of my life that I know happened but I can’t remember any specific details of. I know I went through insane amounts of physical and emotional trauma (I laid there in pain for no less than 8 hours because it was literally the same week COVID started), and not being able to remember it at all is preventing me from moving on or healing.

    Idk if it’s just a me thing, but I hate not remembering entire large sections of time. After the first time I got black out drunk I didn’t drink alcohol for almost 2 years





  • They gave me ketamine the last time I was in the hospital for pain so they could knock me out.

    It was the single worst experience of my life, even worse than the injury I was being knocked out for. I was semi conscious the entire time, but I couldn’t feel or hear anything. I just knew people were all around me doing something. It feels like I was dead for a while. I have very few memories from the time they first gave it to me in the ambulance to the time I woke up at home the next day.

    Fucking awful experience all around. Next time I was in the hospital for an unrelated condition I told them I’d rather have zero pain medicine than even a tiny amount of ketamine