Hail Satan then, I’m a recovering alcoholic and millennial and I like drinking something that feels like a punishment.

I’ll take ten right now

It would be funnier reversed

Unspoken component of this diet was an array of experimental opioids and uppers that were handed out to housewives like tic-tacs.

If they could read, they’d be pissed.

My favorite is a Business of Ferrets, as the Latin translation for ferret is ‘little thief’.