Threaten to release the pee tape

if you enjoyed the Fuck You Bob segment, wait til you see Fuck You Brian.

Easy. Health insurers will pay top dollar for it

When I find a wallet with no money in it, I put $20 in and give it back. Fuck em.

Think of how stupid the average conservative is then remember half of them are stupider than that.

The problem with DDG is that when it doesnt find much it simply throws random shit at you. It’s infuriating.

MUCK FUSK

Choo choo !

They cant just be buttons. They have to be well thought out buttons. My old toyota had 3 big round knobs for the heater controls. Could adjust it without even looking. My new Toyota has heater control buttons but they’re tiny and arrayed in a row like a tiny piano. There is no space between each button and they all have the identical tactile feel. Have to take my eyes off the road for a few seconds just to find what I need.

For the white sauce so I used mashed potatoes instead thinned out with soy milk and it came out great.

Nothing wrong here. just an oversized hobbit

Th Gigi Hadid, who if Im not mistaken, was the cover model used in the advertising for the Fyre Festival.

OK hear me out on this business idea: The Fyre Challenge.

Contestants are flown to an isolated beach/playa with nothing more than a ripped tent, a punctured blow up mattress, and basic rations containing stale bread and sweaty ham, and a bottle of warm water. There is no phone service or electricity.

Contestants have to survive 3 days off the land, then find their way back to civilization by any means possible (homemade rafts, bribery, hijacking,etc).

The winner is the first to reach the Statue of Liberty with a quarter pounder w/ cheese in hand. The winner gets $1,000,000 and a date with Gigi Hadid.

You see ads on your phone?

he should stop being so vague and contradicting.

“He” can’t do that because “he” doesn’t exist. Just like the other 5000 or so gods that humans have invented over the millennia.

Nothin better than a strongly worded letter to get Trump to change his mind!

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Have you tried the new Angry Birds update yet?

it’s the pee tape

we just straight up pulled a pin on a grenade and put it in our pocket.

no. we shoved it up our ass.