• Anamana@feddit.de
        223·
        7 months ago

        There is no unpolished reality… depressive thoughts are not more real than happy thoughts even though it might be convenient to assume so sometimes.

        • Feydaikin@beehaw.org
          6·
          7 months ago

          That’s an opinion, I believe, that a lot of people share.

          Both ends of the spectrum are delusional, sure. But the effects of these delusions, in the world around us, differ.

          In my own limited experience, the more “rose tinted” end tend to overlook potential problems, if not completely ignore them, more often.

          But there are problems. A whole heap of them. That is what I see as unpolished reality. And acknowledging it is important, if we would hope to do better.

          • Sotuanduso@lemm.eeEnglish
            5·
            7 months ago

            Yeah, it is a problem on both ends. If you get too far on the jade end, you acknowledge the problems, sure, but you lose all motivation to do anything about them because you believe it’s already too late.

            And might start acknowledging problems that aren’t real problems.

            • Anamana@feddit.de
              1·
              7 months ago

              And then there are people who switch between both types. I think in professional language they call it ‘rollercoaster personality’ /s

  • Teppichbrand@feddit.de
    513·
    7 months ago

    When I get that funny feeling I ask myself:
    Who, where and when would I rather be? Some celebrity? A pesant from 1600? Some random bird? My grandpa? A hunter gatherer?
    This humbles me. For a brief moment, I get to be part of the superorganism we call earth.

  • VubDapple@lemmy.world
    421·
    7 months ago

    The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation. From the desperate city you go into the desperate country, and have to console yourself with the bravery of minks and muskrats. A stereotyped but unconscious despair is concealed even under what are called the games and amusements of mankind. There is no play in them, for this comes after work. But it is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things.

    Thoreau, Walden

      • rwhitisissle@lemmy.ml
        1·
        7 months ago

        The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation

        Bravery in this context is likely the same “brave” that is used in the phrase “O brave new world. That has such people in’t!” from The Tempest. It’s not “brave” as in courageous, but rather refers to handsomeness, beauty, splendor, etc. So Thoreau here is probably saying, “you go from the city into the country hoping to find something beautiful and all you find is a bunch of rodents.”

      • Rolando@lemmy.world
        1·
        7 months ago

        According to Brittanica, muskrats are in the same subfamily as lemmings! I think Lemmy has its new motto.

  • FIST_FILLET@lemmy.ml
    424·
    7 months ago

    hobbies that will never fill the void

    sounds like they just haven’t found their hobby yet

  • coffee_with_cream@sh.itjust.works
    282·
    7 months ago

    People who feel this way might do well to add some adventure into their lives. It doesn’t need to be expensive. Walk or bike somewhere new. Try new foods. Blast some lines off a hooker’s massive fake tits, and blow a load all over her face. You know, the basics of a healthy life.

  • Kachilde@lemmy.world
    3010·
    7 months ago

    Find better hobbies. Consume information, and then use that information to create. There are so many free resources if you are willing to look. Find friends who make those drab moments fly by. Talk to a professional if you legitimately cannot find the joy in anything. If you see parts of your world that could be changed for the better, then be a part of that change. Who cares if you’re just one person? What were you going to do with your time instead? Jerk off and shitpost?

    No one is the secret heir to a magical legacy, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make the parts of the world we inhabit as beautiful as possible in the time we have.

    • Protoknuckles@lemmy.world
      710·
      7 months ago

      Sorry to derail this, but I really wish Rise of the Skywalker was about this instead of what we got. Last Jedi brilliantly deconstructed Star Wars and the Hero’s journey, leading to “we don’t need to wait for a chosen one, we can all be the change we need in the world”, but instead we now have a broken trilogy.

      • Redecco@lemmy.world
        6·
        7 months ago

        Anything to make the sequel series more consistent would be better than what we got. Trilogy has gotta be 3 parts to a story, not 3 separate visions 🥲

  • Lad@reddthat.com
    212·
    7 months ago

    Always make sure you’re doing things that are known to be good for your mental and emotional wellbeing. Get out into the sunshine, do physical exercise, socialise and talk to people that you care about. And don’t neglect your hobbies.

    • Frozengyro@lemmy.world
      61·
      7 months ago

      Maybe do some volunteer work. The real heroes are the ones selflessly helping those in need. I know I always feel great after volunteering.

    • RGB3x3@lemmy.worldEnglish
      6·
      7 months ago

      Diane Nguyen put it perfectly:

      I guess I had my happy ending, but every happy ending has the day after the happy ending, and the day after that.

      There’s no single happily ever after because there’s always more time, until you die. So just keep living as if you’re already in it.

      • electric_nan@lemmy.ml
        2·
        7 months ago

        Absolutely. Don’t wait until some future time to be happy. Find the enjoyment in what you have now.

  • rdri@lemmy.world
    202·
    7 months ago

    Funny thing is, expectations that some cool fantasy things could exist are there because… you consumed a lot of media at some point.

      • Rolando@lemmy.world
        7·
        7 months ago

        Sorry to hear that. Make sure you reach out to family or friends you trust so they know how you’re doing.

      • yokonzo@lemmy.worldEnglish
        3·
        7 months ago

        I’m sorry to hear that bud. It’s hard out there with bills and capitalism and just how fucked the world is right now. I genuinely think our generation is going to end up tougher than all the others because of this shit, but for now? Shits just god awful.

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
    12·
    7 months ago

    I guess my baseline idea of existence is chronic pain and immobility, or not existing at all, so I’ve always been really happy to wake up and be able to see and hear and read and dance and talk, and fuck and love and all - I really and truly enjoy being physically embodied, and to get so much of my time without hurting too.

    Also, quite honestly, every day I wake up glad to be an adult and not a child and every single day still glad I don’t have to go to school. Did not like being a kid but adulthood has been mostly really good, and has involved an arc from desperately poor to ok with a family so that’s been surprising and happy too.

    • hydroptic@sopuli.xyzOP
      92·
      7 months ago

      It’s genuinely nice to hear you’re enjoying your time here, and that your “trajectory” seems to be for the better.

      Mine’s been pretty much the opposite. My health started taking a sharp turn for the worse a bit before COVID got going, and I still haven’t come to terms with all of it. Started off with a tumor in a particularly vexing place, which caused personality changes over a couple of years although I didn’t know it at the time, and doctors chalked up my mental and physical symptoms to everything from anxiety to panic attacks to HIV (which I don’t have and really had no chance of having). My up to that point fantastic marriage disintegrated because I turned into an anxious and tired mess, and I was frankly a shit partner. A while after the divorce I lost my job in the company I helped found because the tumor affected my cognitive function too, but doctors kept telling me it’s just anxiety, depression, alcoholism, what the fuck ever.

      After a while I did end up getting a correct diagnosis, and when I got radiotherapy it triggered an autoimmune condition that really fucked me up, but that also took more than a year to actually get diagnosed correctly, and at that point there’d already been enough damage that it took 20 years off my life expectancy. Naturally the radiotherapy didn’t do the trick so I also needed surgery, and its complications combined with the autoimmune stuff have left me unable to work and generally so tired that I can barely function. Haven’t had the energy to eg. see my friends all that much, and since I now live alone I can sometimes go for weeks without speaking to another human (I talk to myself a lot…). I’m often in neuropathic and arthritic pain, and I can’t even fucking swallow too well anymore because of nerve damage, so eating and sometimes even drinking is a chore and can lead to coughing fits. Thanks to the autoimmune stuff I occasionally get, well… let’s say acute diarrhea which has led me to shitting my pants a couple of times because I couldn’t get to the toilet in time, and I was at home the second time that happened. So leaving the apartment can be a dicey proposition sometimes for days at a time. I drink way too much nowadays, but it’s either that or having to deal with all this sober, and I don’t have the energy for that, let alone interest.

      If I’m being honest, I’m just waiting to die, and hoping it’ll happen sooner rather than later because none of this is curable and will only get worse. My life has lost all meaning, and it’s difficult to enjoy anything anymore due to constant brain fog, pain, and tiredness.

      • RBWells@lemmy.world
        7·
        7 months ago

        Aww. I am sorry, I hope you can find some joy in being alive and also that you can have a gentle end on your own terms.

      • fosho@lemmy.caEnglish
        4·
        7 months ago

        I’m really sorry you drew such a short stick in the life lottery. so much of this existence is a crap shoot and anyone who says otherwise is full of shit. I’ve seen some of the best people get some of the worst life events and it’s just not fair. I wish someone could share some of their easier life with you. at any rate I guess you find a way to peace one way or another, whatever that may take.

  • LaunchesKayaks@lemmy.world
    121·
    7 months ago

    I got into a funk like that semi-recently. I broke my ankle/leg and had to have surgery and ended up laid up at my parents’ place for 3 months. I decided, while laying in a bed feeling sorry for myself, to start acting on all the things I’ve been wanting to do/achieve. That’s how I signed up for horseback riding lessons and have a long-term goal of getting a horse. Life is too short to just dream of owning a horse again(I had horses fory entire childhood). I’m going to make that dream happen, and get back in the saddle before I get my own critter lol.

    I’ve also started going out with friends more and treating myself to things like eating at a new restaurant, when funds permit of course. It’s the little things that are also important. Like the tiny cactus I got for my desk at work. Lil dude is smaller than my thumb and it livens up my workspace. Best $5 spent recently lol. Can’t wait to see if it is a flowering cactus. I have no idea what kind it actually is lmao.

    I used to just go home after work and hang out inside, which was NOT fulfilling. I’m much happier now that I have fun things to look forward to and an attainable long-term goal.

    • Cataphract@lemmy.ml
      1·
      7 months ago

      Sweet! So I just need affordable healthcare, born into a well off family that has horses and can provide shelter in bad times, have enough disposable cash to enjoy going out, and afford an extremely expensive long-term goal! lol of course I’m kidding, as sarcastic as I might be I am happy that you’ve found what’s important to you.

      If anyone is struggling reading this and can’t do the above, my only simple suggestion is to force yourself to sit in the sun for 10 minutes a day (I close my eyes and relax, lizard brain will thank you) and/or just stare at something natural (in person) for 20 minutes. The sun can help develop and regulate chemicals in your body and helps break your previous routine. With nature, most studies find you need only 2 hours out of a week to find benefits.

      I know not everyone has a backyard or nearby local park, but there is nature close to you where it tries to bust through (empty lot, crappy sidewalk or overgrown lawns), I found a crappy public fishing spot recently (mercury signs posted warning the fish are bad but people keep fishing there) and just kinda park out there and wander around (there’s no trails, but the electrical lines running nearby had growth under them so I just walked down it a ways and back). I try to leave my phone in my pocket (or at home if you feel comfortable doing that) and play a game of memorizing a singular plant so I can try to identify it when I get home (resist the temptation to pull out your phone for the millionth thought). Has also helped me find some wild herbs and edibles in my area which I’ve propagated so I can grow at home (don’t eat wild food, at the bare minimum there might be piss on it or worse, extremely toxic chemicals). Kids and pets definitely enjoy the trip, even if they complain they’ll eventually come to enjoy the time being spent. Kids especially are trained for more hyper focused entertainment so there’s some push back, but it’s not their fault and just explain it’s for yourself (they understand selfishness lol). It can be as simple as leaving for something 10 minutes early so you can stop and check out a spot you like.

  • Anamnesis@lemmy.world
    10·
    7 months ago

    Lucretius (a follower of Epicurus) pointed out that if you can’t be content with just existing, getting more out of life won’t actually make you happy. Yeah, being a wage slave sucks, and we need to liberate ourselves. But we also have to learn to just be happy with being, or we’ll always be stuck running away from ourselves.

    • Arnold Mal@lemmy.giftedmc.comEnglish
      1·
      7 months ago

      I don’t mean to be rude and disregard the wisdom in your comment. There is truly value to it. However, considering that we are entirely capable of designing a society that is just and equitable but insist on the shit we have now, the comment sounds like a mantra for slaves.

    • hydroptic@sopuli.xyzOP
      161·
      7 months ago

      And raccoons exist. A universe that has raccoons in it can’t be completely irredeemable