With the Israeli-Palestinian conflict escalating, sectarian violence boiling over in Iraq, and Syria mired in a civil war that’s now more than three years old, the Middle East continues to be plagued by bloodshed and unrest. Here are The Onion’s tips for finally bringing peace to the troubled region:
I thought we were talking about sectarian violence in the Middle East.
Huh? How so?
Anyway you’re trying to prove that Ottoman empire bad, which is… Well… It’s not that simple but I definitely don’t like them.
You were singing their praises just now.
Sure empires create stability inside themselves. Otherwise they wouldn’t be able to exist.
You’re clearly moving the goalposts so I’ll just disengage from this conversation.