I had a lady do that to me and my beard in college.
it was weird at the time but scratched a physical contact itch I had no idea I had. the interaction started a long lasting infatuation with black matriarchs.
my point is, it’s fine to tell people no because it’s a limit of yours, but some people get curious about things that are new(to them) and it shouldn’t be held against them. who knows you might even like it.
This is only tangentially related to the point but when else am I going to get to share this story:
I’m a tall white dude with long, thick, slightly curly hair (when short it curls, when long the weight pulls it into waves), my entire life it’s been expected of me to just let women touch my hair and go “god I wish I could have this” or similar
I had a few black girl friends (note the space) growing up and they saw that a few times and we bonded a bit on this hair shit, but they were actually shocked that people at least asked them whereas I’d get molested without asking
One day an older black woman did it in front of my friend Alex and she puts on her heaviest “I’m from the ghetto bitch” accent and yells “nigga why you not even ask to touch his hair? You’re a sistah, you should know better!” And smacks her hand away from me
The look of shock on that woman’s face and level of apology she gave me was the weirdest fucking thing I’ve ever experienced racially in my life. I got to see, just for a moment, what it looks like when white people realize theyre being super racist and want to undo it. It was awkward as fuck
I’m not black but Hispanic and get this often because of my curly hair. I actually love it but understand some people might not like it. But at least they ask. Had some people just pat my hair to feel it which is really weird.
Speaking of touching hair, this isn’t really related but what are you supposed to do when holding a baby?
Like I held my family members baby the other day at Thanksgiving and my brain just defaulted to petting their nearly bald head like my cat 😭
That’s funny, because I had a lady I work with tell me to feel her hair.
We were talking about how she always had different hairstyles, and then she explained all this stuff about weaves and fake hair, and then she had me feel her hair to tell the difference.
I did not retain all/any of the knowledge of artificial hair, but I do remember she always had kickass hair styles.
The fact that you’ve heard “Don’t touch a black person’s hair” is because SO MANY nonBlack people would just walk up and start touching us without so much as a “How do you do”.
Black people aren’t particularly different than anyone else. The way we are treated is often quite different.
I’m a Latino and I grew out my hair during the pandemic with the goal of donating it. My hair comes out curly when it is long. One day, when we were back to seeing people face to face, a black woman asked if she could touch my hair. I was a little surprised that she asked, lol.
I complained to the manager about not having a safe space and demanded the smokers be evicted. I caused a huge scene and they called security. I went limp so that they had to drag me out of the casino. I have returned everyday holding a picket sign with a picture of a cigarette crossed out in red ink. I will continue to do so until their smoking policy changes.
Here’s a bonus I saw at college: “Can I touch your hair?” it’s an especially weird one.
I was blonde growing up in a middle eastern country and people used to want to touch my hair all the time. It’s just curiosity.
No, it can only be white on black racism
white guy here.
I had a lady do that to me and my beard in college.
it was weird at the time but scratched a physical contact itch I had no idea I had. the interaction started a long lasting infatuation with black matriarchs.
my point is, it’s fine to tell people no because it’s a limit of yours, but some people get curious about things that are new(to them) and it shouldn’t be held against them. who knows you might even like it.
The problem is volume. You had one interaction years ago. Black ladies get this sort of thing a lot more. I’m sure it gets exhausting.
This is only tangentially related to the point but when else am I going to get to share this story:
I’m a tall white dude with long, thick, slightly curly hair (when short it curls, when long the weight pulls it into waves), my entire life it’s been expected of me to just let women touch my hair and go “god I wish I could have this” or similar
I had a few black girl friends (note the space) growing up and they saw that a few times and we bonded a bit on this hair shit, but they were actually shocked that people at least asked them whereas I’d get molested without asking
One day an older black woman did it in front of my friend Alex and she puts on her heaviest “I’m from the ghetto bitch” accent and yells “nigga why you not even ask to touch his hair? You’re a sistah, you should know better!” And smacks her hand away from me
The look of shock on that woman’s face and level of apology she gave me was the weirdest fucking thing I’ve ever experienced racially in my life. I got to see, just for a moment, what it looks like when white people realize theyre being super racist and want to undo it. It was awkward as fuck
I’m not black but Hispanic and get this often because of my curly hair. I actually love it but understand some people might not like it. But at least they ask. Had some people just pat my hair to feel it which is really weird.
Speaking of touching hair, this isn’t really related but what are you supposed to do when holding a baby?
Like I held my family members baby the other day at Thanksgiving and my brain just defaulted to petting their nearly bald head like my cat 😭
I think that’s normal, actually. Little kids like affection and caressing their bald head qualifies. I’m not sure what age that ends, though.
I’m over 30 but I still like it when my gf gives me head scritches/scalp massages. So I guess never for some?
My wife will hiss at me if I don’t caress her hair before sleepytime. I may have married a cat.
Does scratching behind ears work?
I think that will get me bitten
Could be fun
If she starts vibrating that means it is working
I don’t have kids, but a friend of mine that does commented I sway while carrying a cat in the way someone holding a baby does.
I guess that’s more proof part of the domestication that went on with cats is that they somehow signal “baby” to our minds.
It makes sense it goes the other way too.
Either that or chew on its ear. That is normal, right?
That’s funny, because I had a lady I work with tell me to feel her hair.
We were talking about how she always had different hairstyles, and then she explained all this stuff about weaves and fake hair, and then she had me feel her hair to tell the difference.
I did not retain all/any of the knowledge of artificial hair, but I do remember she always had kickass hair styles.
It’s about consent.
The fact that you’ve heard “Don’t touch a black person’s hair” is because SO MANY nonBlack people would just walk up and start touching us without so much as a “How do you do”.
Black people aren’t particularly different than anyone else. The way we are treated is often quite different.
I’m a Latino and I grew out my hair during the pandemic with the goal of donating it. My hair comes out curly when it is long. One day, when we were back to seeing people face to face, a black woman asked if she could touch my hair. I was a little surprised that she asked, lol.
Did you get all offended about it
I complained to the manager about not having a safe space and demanded the smokers be evicted. I caused a huge scene and they called security. I went limp so that they had to drag me out of the casino. I have returned everyday holding a picket sign with a picture of a cigarette crossed out in red ink. I will continue to do so until their smoking policy changes.
/s, obviously