i just broke up with my bf who ghosted me bc he realized he’s gay (im a woman). i don’t even think i like guys but i have this compulsion to ask out my friend who i blocked to have a man that treats me right instead of the other guy that ghosted me, and also to make him happy.
he kept talking about how he could treat me better than anyone else, that i should’ve ditched my bf for him (obv i said no), and badmouthed not only his gf of a few years since age 16 but also his first time. he left her bc she showed signs of schizophrenia and she blocked all his socials after he left.
he kept guilttripping me when i said i didn’t want to be his gf so ik he doesn’t care about consent regardless of what he says. he also completely ignored me liking women and acted like i was straight but i feel lonely.
i kinda wanna make him happy and have a bf who pays attention to me but ik i’m probably just saying this out of sadness. we were friends but i had to block.
You need to sort yourself out. First of all you need to find out if you even want to be with guys, girls, or which ever fits your mood. Try exploring your sexuality and find out what you want. You will do yourself no good wasting time with boys making you unfulfilled that could have been better spent smashing gashes with lasses that make you happier.
Ex-friend sounds like he won’t actually be a good boyfriend because of how much he shit talks others, tries to emotionally manipulate you, and doesn’t know how to recognize and “see” you.
Learn to be happy by yourself or you will never know how to be happy with someone else.