• wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    I turn 31 next month; I’m a stroke ‘survivor’ (kill me) who completely lost the fine motor control of my right arm, hand, leg, foot, toes/fingers, a quarter of my vision in both eyes, ~90% of my nerve response on my right side of my entire body, as well as a few other things. Literally getting down the road to the bus stop 1/8 miles away would take 20 minutes, be immensely difficult and tiring, my pulse would be 130+ the whole time and say if I’m going to go to a store and buy something, I can’t because my one operable hand is holding my cane to keep me stable. I tried, so fucking hard, to continue ‘normal’ life. I despise what has happened to me and the fact that I will never, ever be whole again makes me regret calling help when I realized what was occurring. I live every day in hell, in a prison created by my own stupid body, and it will be like this until my premature death.

    It’s the hardest thing in the world to just get to the transportation. I hate that I’m saying it, but it’s absolutely true :(

    I’m not saying it’s the best answer - fuck, I’m trying to get back to driving, it has always been a huge part of me, my happiness, my enjoyment of life - but at least it can help people like me until something better comes along.

    • Cethin@lemmy.zip
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      1 year ago

      I’m sorry you ended up in a situation that no one should have to deal with.

      You say you liked driving. Do you or any friends have access to VR equipment? I bet you could do some driving in that and at least get part of the experience you miss. It won’t be the same, but it’ll at least be a part of it.

      • wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        A couple, but they aren’t local; I’ve used a Google Daydream that I own, hooked to my computer via a program (name escapes me atm, icon was a cat I think). Though the daydream with glasses on is, uh, undesirable you could say.

        I play games on pc/kb+mouse like Forza, BeamNG, older NFS games (nostalgia), etc and I’ve also been able to mostly play games like Halo or Payday by using a mouse with additional side buttons, making the mouse the primary input (wasd via mouse is interesting). I plan on picking up a wheel/pedals soon, just financial obligations has me waiting on that.

        Between getting my license and the stroke, I put an average of 30k miles on vehicles per year. Driving is an escape for me (more life bs I won’t bore you with) and it’s just so freeing. Plus I love to explore, so they go hand in hand.