i also largely don’t mind crowds if it’s people i’m not expected to interact with, however loud groups or people bumping up against me makes me fucking rage. sometimes if i need extra space i’ll spin my backpack around and wear it on my front.

Agoraphobia is a real thing, yes.

It’s complicated.

If being in a noisy place with lots of strangers feels unpleasant, it’s only natural to for one to feel anxious about going to such events as anxiety about something that’s going to be unpleasant is normal even in animals.

At the same time, at least until a certain point in their lifes, people also feel a certain fear of social rejection and whatnot if they say no to these things and they think they’re suppose to to go to such events to fit in.

Feeling forced to repeatedly do something unpleasant really amps up the anxiety. Again, perfectly normal.

However people need to be careful about confusing anxiety about unpleasant social situations one feels almost forced to attend (you’re not, but most people don’t really interiorise that belief until their 30s) with anxiety about contact with other people: the former is not at all the latter - it’s the event, not the people, that is the problem.