Sofia “Buff Girlfriend” @sofiabuffgf

Installing a bidet at home was life changing but unfortunately it’s transformed pooping on company time from a small proletarian victory into yet another grueling humiliation of inadequate working conditions.

  • BubbleMonkey@slrpnk.netEnglish
    984·
    6 months ago

    Imagine the filth in your average public restroom.

    Now imagine if they were all designed with powerful fountains that spray water up and out of the device if not intercepted by an anus.

    I’m pretty sure “this is why we can’t have nice things” is true in this case, just pre-emptively.

    • modifier@lemmy.caEnglish
      291·
      6 months ago

      The wonderful thing about every bidet I’ve ever used is that they require intentional actions to be activated. I have never gotten a surprise spray yet.

      • BubbleMonkey@slrpnk.netEnglish
        621·
        6 months ago

        Surprises of that sort aren’t really the problem, tho that would be… wild.

        The intentional abuse of the devices would be the problem, as would unintentional misuse (eg they are in the wrong position and it misses entirely, or they don’t know what it is and mess with the controls while standing in front of it).

          • BubbleMonkey@slrpnk.netEnglish
            12·
            6 months ago

            Same, honestly. You have to make sure it works and you don’t really think to cover it, and even if you did you don’t really know where…

            • Phoonzang@lemmy.worldEnglish
              4·
              6 months ago

              My bidet toilet came with a “demonstration tool”. A (transparent) plastic contraption that can be put on the toilet which 1) activates the bum-sensor and 2) blocks the water stream.

              The toilet also has a “demonstration” mode, I did not dare to turn that on, though.

          • KroninJ@lemmy.worldEnglish
            1·
            6 months ago

            I would like to see an AMA from a first time owner that didn’t end up with water on the wall. When in the process of deciding to get one and having it functional did it occur to watch out… or not?

            I did after putting it in and watched my partner test it and got another in a different spot.

        • modifier@lemmy.caEnglish
          25·
          6 months ago

          You’re right. There is nothing stopping folks from throwing toilet paper (clean or dirty) all over the public restroom on purpose and I have spent enough time in airport bathrooms to know that people can make a mess perfectly fine with how restrooms are kitted out today.

        • Bigoldmustard@lemmy.zipEnglish
          7·
          6 months ago

          Mine won’t turn on unless your ass is detected on the seat and it set me back less than $200.

          People do mess with stuff, gotta agree there. Don’t agree that the solution is to not have stuff though. Might as well not have any public space if that’s the attitude.

      • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.worldEnglish
        3·
        6 months ago

        People are quite intentional in their destruction of public property. And then of course there are all of those incompetent idiots roaming around.

        • modifier@lemmy.caEnglish
          1·
          6 months ago

          Well let’s pull out the toilets too. They can and do make plenty of mess of those. Let’s just get rid of public amenities.

          • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet@lemmy.worldEnglish
            1·
            6 months ago

            I wasn’t arguing that we shouldn’t offer them in public restrooms, just pointing out that there will be issues, even though you and I can handle them just fine. I hate using public restrooms ever since I installed bidets in my house. I even take baby wipes backpacking with me now, since I can’t stand only using dry toilet paper. It’s gross!

      • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.worldEnglish
        3·
        6 months ago

        I had one with analog pressure control. It was basically just a valve with a limiter you hooked up to toilet’s water line. If your hand slipped, you got to do a little spring cleaning. It was not as refreshing as the task sounds.

        • iiGxC@slrpnk.netEnglish
          2·
          6 months ago

          Ah, the poor mans enema. Sometimes if you have a poop that’s not cooperating you can squirt some water up there and it comes out. Source: 😏

      • garbagebagel@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        6 months ago

        I definitely have but it was 100% user error :( I was cleaning my toilet and meant to turn on the nozzle clean but turned on the regular wash instead. I screamed so loud my partner thought I was injured. Thankfully I was wearing glasses I guess.

      • JasonDJ@lemmy.zipEnglish
        25·
        6 months ago

        Surprise sprays tend to happen when your staring over the stradle-style bidet, trying to figure out how the hell to work it.

        Met a new friend and his wife once. Had no idea what it was. Touched a knob and the ceiling got wet.

        The guy got me set up with a nice job in what ended up being a lucrative career.

        They got divorced a few years later. Husband moved out west with a friend’s girlfriend. Said friend ended up marrying the wife. She’s a slut, and they’re going through a divorce now.