• weker01@sh.itjust.works
          27·
          3 months ago

          Do it the German way and just trauma dump. I mean if they didn’t care they shouldn’t have asked.

          In Germany “how are you” is also smalltalk but you are not expected to lie. Just keep it short.

          “Wie geht’s?”

          “Nicht so gut gerade und bei dir?”

          • SolarMonkey@slrpnk.netEnglish
            61·
            3 months ago

            People do that to me all the time. I just seem to radiate safety and people dump everything. I get that they need it, and sometimes (when I’m in a good headspace) I’m happy to provide an outlet for people who need one, but it gets really exhausting. I don’t even like small talk, I only bother with pleasantries because I’m supposed to, apparently.

            (That trauma dumping is totally not the norm around here…)

        • Psychodelic@lemmy.world
          1·
          3 months ago

          It’s worth realizing some people do not want to be cheered up. My understanding is the misery, for lack of a better word, is more comforting to many as it reminds them of when they were young (or they emulate what they saw around them as children)

          • exanime@lemmy.world
            3·
            3 months ago

            It’s worth realizing some people do not want to be cheered up.

            I get that 100% and, although I am sure I made the mistake before, I am trying hard to understand and respect these boundaries

            I am just saying I believe wearing such a pin to avoid people would have a noticeable cobra effect