- cross-posted to:
- news@lemmy.world
- cross-posted to:
- news@lemmy.world
Ladies and gentlemen, the dumbest person on the planet, Donald Trump.
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People joke that being Canada is like living in an apartment where the person living in the floor below is a crack addict. Now, that crack addict is trying to steal your toilet to sell it for crack.
He’s not dumb. He’s cancer. He’s aggressive. And he intends on metastasizing to the entire world. Strongmen only respect strength. We need to show him how nasty we can be. Watch what he does with targets he perceives as weaker than us (if there are any). If he goes after Panama first, or Greenland, you can be certain that we are next.
This is not empty rhetoric folks. I’ve been saying it since before the election and I’m going to keep saying it, he’s actually coming for us. His first term was full of empty threats. This one hasn’t been. He has followed through, and he will follow through. He will continue to bully us and come at us sideways for awhile, take what he can by hook or by crook, but eventually he will get impatient and greedy. He is coming. Prepare to be another Ukraine, another Afghanistan. The latter is a tiny, technologically backwards nation that is called the “Graveyard of empires” for good reason. We can be that, and we will need to be that. I say this to reassure you that it is absolutely possible to defend our sovereignty against a much larger aggressor. This is anything but a lost cause, but we need to take it very seriously, because he is deadly serious.
He absolutely is dumb. But that doesn’t mean he’s not dangerous.
He looks to us the way Putin looks at Ukraine.
Someone tell Doug Ford that capitulating to Trump is not going to pay off. He seems to be moving from big talk of resistance to total submission.
That what conservative do they would sell canada at the first chance but they have to look like big bad men so they bark a little then roll over
My take: Conservatives fear liberal/progressive societal advances more than they fear fascism. It’s the same way the DNC fears progressives and would rather lose the game than give progressives a platform. Conservatives love big business and fascism is the result when capitalists fear societal regulation and conservativism seems threatened.
Yeah, I’m curious what changed. Did he get a payout to sell out his province and country? Was he blackmailed? Or was he just bluffing and America called him on it?
What changed is he just got elected for four more years. The facade of Canada First is irrelevant at this point.
I saw someone else mention that after I posted and that seems the most likely reason.
SCOTUS declaring full immunity for anything done as an official presidential act is probably why this term feels less hollow; last time around he had to be careful not to end up in prison, this time he has nothing to fear.
Cancer is very dumb, by any metric I can possibly imagine:
- it literally lacks any mechanism for intellect/processing information
- it is a random mutation that renders affected cells dysfunctional
- it has no mechanism to spread to another host, yet still kills the host it has
- it has four different ways that it might just kill itself
This only makes the metaphor all the more apt. Intelligent foes are far less dangerous. You have to be exceedingly dumb to choose mutually assured destruction.
“Nasssty Canada, with its healthcare and reciprocal tariffs!” Krasnov hissed. “It burns us, precious!”
He hunched over in the dim glow of the Oval Office, stroking a golden golf ball in his palms, his eyes darting between it and the maps spread across his desk. “They take advantage of us, yes they do. Always winning, always smug with their free doctor visits and politeness. Weak! But strong! It’s tricksy, so tricksy!”
A cough echoed from the corner. His chief of staff, a weary-looking man with thinning hair, cleared his throat. “Sir, this—uh—this meeting with Prime Minister Trudeau is important. We need to discuss trade.”
Krasnov recoiled, clutching the ball tighter. “Trade?! TRADE?! Filthy free-traders! They cheat us! Steal from us! But we—” He paused, his voice dropping into a desperate whisper. “We could… could take their milk, yes, yes! Their delicious dairy! Make America milky again!”
His chief of staff pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sir, we already produce a lot of milk.”
Krasnov’s face twisted, his fingers tightening around the golf ball like a strangling grip. “No! Canadian milk is special! It’s… socialist milk! It must be destroyed! We put tariffs on it, we crush them, and then we take it for ourselves, yessss!”
A flicker of doubt passed across his face. He shook his head violently, as though fighting himself. “But what if… what if Canada is right?” His voice softened, a pained expression twisting his features. “What if… universal healthcare isn’t nasssty? What if… it’s… good?”
He gasped, stumbling backward, horror-stricken. “No! No, no, no, never! That’s socialism! That’s evil! We hates it!” He flung the golf ball across the room, where it clattered against a bust of Lincoln and rolled onto the carpet.
His chief of staff stared, unsure of what to say.
Krasnov froze, then slowly crawled toward the ball, cradling it again in his hands. “We must punish Canada. Yes, precious. We must make them pay. Or else… or else we lose.”
A long silence followed.
Finally, the chief of staff sighed. “I’ll call the trade representative.”
That’s really well written.
Yep but contains 100% more inner monologue than would ever be recorded in the slow, tremulous sine wave that is Trump’s EEG.
Can we call on Andy Serkis to Narrate this please.
“I deal with every country, indirectly or directly. One of the nastiest countries to deal with is Canada,” Trump said.
I’ll take that as a complement from you. Thanks!
Yeah. Tells me our government is working.
If he stops being adversarial on every situation and threatening us then we’ll be friendly, like we are with every other country.
nasssty little canadianses
they HATESss uss. they put the tAriffssss on usss!
but we loves the canadienses! we want them to be our stateses!
NOO! we hates the nassty canadienses. we give them MORE tAriffsss! make them ssuffer!
The most common response to this as an American from other Americans is “he’s joking, or it’s just a deflection.” And that can be true. But like everything else he’s said - it’s always a joke until it isn’t. But if you’re Canadian it was never a fucking joke to begin with and I’m here for it.
Nasty is a compliment. It’s what he called Freeland after she stood up to him in the last trade negotiations.
It’s also pretty funny from a guy who jails children, threatens others constantly, abuses power, and makes enemies just by breathing. I actually think in his head “nasty” really just means “won’t simply bend over for me”.
This is it, anything but his way is unfair. Same for most of the right.
I have never known a man who needed to get punched in the face worse than Donald Trump. I am not a violent man. I detest “online tough guys” who treat every situation as an excuse to advocate for violence. And I’m not saying I endorse a bullet or a guillotine or something like that. I’m not even saying I’d punch him.
But this man has clearly never been punched in his shit-talking mouth, and if someone had done it 40 or 50 years ago, we wouldn’t be here now.
And I’m not saying I endorse a bullet or a guillotine or something like that.
Honestly, my greatest wish for Trump and Musk? That they have all their wealth and contacts stripped from them, and they either spend the rest of their lives in a blue collar prison, or homeless on the street without a single soul willing to help them… I’ll settle for the guillotine though.
I think that Gitmo is the only answer to prison for these guys. Send em where they send those they do not agree with.
I’m not even saying I’d punch him.
I’ll do it.
Get in line.
And I’m not saying I endorse a bullet or a guillotine or something like that.
Hitler died from a bullet, fired from his own gun. His advisors were tried for war crimes, convicted, sentenced to death, and hanged. I think we can all agree that these were reasonable conclusions.
Donald Trump was meant to die in prison.
Founding fathers would have had him hanging from a tree
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He still wants to annex us.
Canadians, crank up the nastiness a little more.
Good. Proud to be Canadian.
Still stolen land.
Yes, and so is the USA. Canada needs to work on its own problems, not be annexed by another country with similar problems.
Yeah, Canada’s problems don’t need to be solved by annexation, and wouldn’t be solved by annexation.
Both need to be abolished.
Is there a practical component to your argument or are you just sticking with ideal hypotheticals.
I would practically like to see Canada and the US broken up by indigenous resistance.
It seems impossible until it is inevitable.
If you’re going to keep talking like this, then get it really correct, dumbass. No human group is indigenous to North or South America, every single group immigrated here. Some did so 30,000 years ago, 20,000 or so years before the Levantine fairy tales claim the world began, and people have been coming here since then. And things were pretty decent in most parts until the religious nutcases arrived. And then the mercantile types came along and made things exponentially worse. As someone who was born on these lands, and grew up with many First Nations friends, I have the utmost respect for them and their cultures. It sounds like you’re more of a troll than anything else.
You call me a troll and then say no one is indigenous? And pretend like you respect any of your so-called friends? 🙄
I mean, yeah, every plot of land was “stolen” from another group throughout history. Even going back to before Homo sapiens, and most certainly between indigenous tribes.
Fortunately, Canada has acknowledged our history, and has been in the position to give back and support our first nations throughout the years.
More work needs to be done, for sure, but this doesn’t diminish Canada in any way.
This colonizer horse shit ignores the fact that the people you stole the land from are still here. Where’s the repairations?
Clearly you’re not paying attention.
Has Canada started returning the land it stole?
I see you’re from Iowa so probably not familiar with a lot of our news. Here are a few links to recent land and governance transfers, and modern treaties in BC. As I live here these are the ones I know about, there are probably more in other provinces. While there is still so much to be done, these are excellent starts. Cheers
Haida Title Lands Agreement Agreement
Nisga’a Final Agreement (2000) Agreement
K’ómoks First Nation (In process) BC Govt page on the process
And when will they give it all back? And how about all the profits made from resource extraction? The minerals, trees, and oil were stolen too.
There’s something called the internet that can answer all your stupid questions. Start with, ‘has the US given back any land they stole from Indigenous people?’
Actually, Yes
This colonizer horse shit ignores the fact that the people you stole the land from are still here.
Yeah, so I have relatives with first nation blood, so I won’t own your toxic comment.
Where’s the repairations?
Without knowing what you consider to be important, the Government of Canada has helped to fund quite a few projects to help our indigenous people: Healthcare, infrastructure, social assistance, clean water, trade, business and economic growth within their communities, etc.
Hundreds of millions are spent each year to ensure that we do what’s right.
We’ve settled land claims (with more to come), and have worked to protect first nation culture and languages.
There’s always more to be done, and as I mentioned, Canada acknowledges that this is still a work in progress.
A few government handouts don’t make up for the centuries of superexploitation.
Land back or nothing.
Two questions:
-
Are you in Canada?
-
Are you/your people indigenous to land now within Canadian borders?
-
That’s never going to happen. Various bands are not getting back land that now host large cities and infrastructure. You can rail against that injustice until your death, which will accomplish nothing, or you can try to find a way forward.
And I say this as someone who believes that Canadian demographics are against you. The white guilt of colonization is quickly diluting into the pool of 2nd and 3rd generation immigrants who feel no guilt and have no connection to this questionable past. At that point nobody will care and your culture will be erased like so many others in the past.
I’m very curious about what you would like to see happen.
Do you want to deport all black people to Africa and all white people to Europe, or are you presuming that Indigenous would freely decide to host all of you on their land indefinitely?
I would like to see settler-colonial governments abolished, settler wealth redistributed, and for settlers to betray whiteness/colonialism and join indigenous resistance to ultimately live side-by-side with indigenous people as equals.
Black people are not settlers. It’s not like their ancestors came here to invade and colonize the land and it’s not like they have generational wealth from settler-colonialism.
1% Indian princess encourages those whining natives to shut up, they’re listening!
are still here.
That’s some good longevity, Lou.
I don’t know about lack of reparations. Where I live it is only the Indigenous groups that have massive amounts of federal and provincial money to spend. All sorts of fancy new buildings going up for housing and recreation and self-government.
I honestly don’t understand the downvotes. Canada is a settler colonial state, does anyone dispute that here? The indigenous people were coerced into “signing treaties” without having the legal and cultural framework, and without having the status and power to be fully free parties into a free agreement. And regardless, this is one of the things we are actually doing better(*) than the yanks: we have had a Truth and Reconciliation Commission, and we are learning to cope with our past. Every person who becomes Canadian swears to “faithfully observe the laws of Canada including the Constitution which recognizes and affirms the aboriginal and treaty rights of First Nations, Inuit and Métis peoples”.
The US is a country that had a noble foundation and a shitty follow through. Canada is the opposite: a shitty foundation, a noble follow through. We are precisely the one of the two that does not pretend we came from the pure ideal of some idealized founding daddies, we specifically understand that we must always improve. We’re a forward facing people. That’s why I’m proud to be Canadian.
(*) “better”, not well. We actually have a very long way to go, and we still are very bad at treating indigenous people. The downvotes actually attest to that.
There’s been a surge of Canadian nationalism because of Trump’s trade war bullshit, a lot of Canadians don’t want to hear any attacks on the motherland. A similar thing is happening in Europe.
I know I’m asking a lot, but can anyone compile the list of everyone that Trump has called “nasty”? Because I feel like we’re in really good company.
America has been subsidizing Canada
2024: Canada imports ~$480 billion total from the USA. Divided by 40 million Canadian population, that’s $12,000 for every man, woman, and child spent on American shit.
USA imports ~$586 billion from Canada. Divided by 400 million population, that’s only $1,465 per capita, and that’s only 1/8th of the amount that Canadians bought from the USA in return.
##BUY CANADIAN, BE FAIR!##
You can’t compare apples to apples when one side of the equation has 10 times the population. If we’re trying to be fair, Trumpistan needs to buy 8 times more Canadian shit!
Tariffs on the Canadian side will be reciprocal and will only serve to make us stop buying Murcan shit, leading to an even bigger Trumped-up deficit and the loss of their biggest, best customer. Likely long-term.
So why does he want to annex Canada if it’s so “nasty”?
Nasty, filled with drugs, and we have nothing that Americans need! LOL What a clown.
