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ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 month ago

Ted Cruz Assures Texans He Working Tirelessly To Get Vacation Refunded

theonion.com

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Ted Cruz Assures Texans He Working Tirelessly To Get Vacation Refunded

theonion.com

ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 1 month ago
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KERRVILLE, TX—Promising grieving Texans he would do everything in his power to make things right in the wake of last week’s deadly floods, Sen. Ted Cruz assured his constituents Wednesday that he was working tirelessly to get the rest of his Greek vacation refunded. “I have spent countless hours on the phone persuading Capital One […]
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  • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Rafael Cruz…

    Unless he wants to explain to his voters why he refuses to use his “Christian name” and go by a moniker instead.

    • SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social
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      1 month ago

      What does it say on his birth certificate?

      • pelespirit@sh.itjust.works
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        1 month ago

        We’d have to go to Canada to find out.

        • Tuchowski@troet.cafe
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          1 month ago

          @pelespirit Ah, logically born in Alberta…
          @SwingingTheLamp

      • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Long form…

        Wait, we’re supposed to wait till he provides the normal one, then change what we’re asking for

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