Someone just asked the opposite of this question here and I was wondering if there are cases were you’re just not interested in something but you know the community is great nonetheless.
I’m not into other girls, but I’ve got lesbian friends who are great! 😃
I’m a cishet dude and all but one of my friends are some combination of gay, bi, or trans
I’m not into guys but I’ve got pan/bi/het friends who are great! 😃
I have always been a liberal leftist but I actually really enjoy being around old school, fiscally conservative Republicans, when they aren’t talking about politics. They tend to be softies on the inside - they value strength and tradition and care deeply for their communities and families; often more directly demonstrating that care than liberals tend to. They also don’t accept the victim mentality and tend to shoot straight with their words, and can be hilariously harsh. They are responsible and tend to follow through with their commitments.
The problem is, I can’t really stand being around them because they can’t help themselves bringing up the dumbest opinions of all time and they typically don’t like digging into fact based thinking.
Same now as 20 years ago, when they would say shit like, “pretty cold out today - don’t seem like global warming to me! Hahaha” etc etc
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TIL 20 years ago is 2000… not the 60s… fml
Something about the horseshoe effect I’m sure. I’m the same way, I make the best of friends with conservative assholes. They care about family, water is thicker than blood, blah blah blah. It’s just the policies they vote for that I hate, which is also why I love just chatting about them. Gives me an opportunity to “know thy enemy” and have a chance to change their mind
That’s all well and good, until they vote for literal fascists who believe trans people shouldn’t exist.
At some point you need to draw a line. And even if they don’t say that shit out loud, or they pretend to disagree, they still vote for it and most of them will refuse to ever admit they were wrong for that.
You’re absolutely right. If you search my account for “good ol boy” or “from Oklahoma” you’ll find a comment where I gave a more specific example of this. I didn’t give all of these details, but I stealthed basically my entire personality for about a year and half with him while poking and prodding at his beliefs in a “curious” manner until he started getting deeper into those bills on his own and forming his own opinions.
I mentioned in that comment that he became an LGBTQ ally along the way basically by accident. Gentle curiosity about someone’s beliefs is a great way to change them
they value strength and tradition
And this is good because…?
Strength is good, tradition can be anything
Strength is good
Is shit that fascists say. Just a heads up.
And “tradition,” at least in this context, is almost always based in bigotry.
Fascists say some things that are normal, like anyone else; they just also say a lot of things that are evil. This one is normal. Strength is used as a tool by fascists but it in and of itself is not inherently bad.
Republican tradition is generally something that hurts our ability to make social progress, yes.
“Strength” when used in political contexts, is almost always related to some form of oppression at the very least.
I am struggling to think of a time when hearing a politician speak about “strength” could be seen as a good thing. Perhaps briefly, directly after 9/11, but before we decided to invade the wrong countries? Even then, it was more about unity than any kind of strength.
Strength, as in the power to exert your will on others, is a dangerous concept. This is the sense in which fascists use it.
Strength, as in the power to stand up for yourself, is good. We should all have the strength to fight against tyranny.
I guess I just wouldn’t use that word in the second case. Determination maybe?
I am not a fan of the hardcore heavy/death metal music itself; but the metalheads are awesome people. The more unintelligible and scary/evil sounding the music, the nicer the crowd. It’s weird and cool and funny.
Metalheads. The nicest people in the world cosplaying as the toughest.
I’ve seen more than a couple hold their own in fights. Nice ≠ incapable of appropriate violence. Also not saying that is what you’re saying, but the “cosplaying” bit had me feeling some kinda way. 🤘
Yes I meet tons of people going to metal shows! They’re all very nice
And there’s science backing that up!
Well you can’t just say that and not give me a link, you’ve piqued my curiosity
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6skS2Ur2bNG5rsBtuQDJpB
It’s all in this podcast epi but if you don’t want to listen, the name of the prof is there too
For me it’s Metal music. It’s just absolutely not my genre but an overwhelming amount of metalheads I met were just the nicest, most wholesome and fun people all around.
We trash and bash in the mosh pitts, and get out our aggression. But if someone falls, you YANK them up. Many times I’ve fallen, and then suddenly felt myself lifted high into the air by the hand of god. Then I can see who lifted me, and it turns out it wasn’t god. It was a long haired, bearded, tattood muscleman. Which makes sense. I’m like 300lbs. If you’re suddenly yanking me up effortlessly, you’re a big muscle man. And then there’s other times I see women fall. I yank them up. I’m doing the right thing, I KNOW I’m doing the right thing, but the whole time I’m just like “Sorry sorry sorry sorry.” because you don’t aim where you grab. You grab and yank up, by whatever you can. You don’t want the pitt to come her way and stomp her head, not knowing she exists down there. So yank, but also “Sorry sorry sorry sorry”. I’ve yet to have any women mad at me for doing it, they get it, but MAN it feels weird just grabbing a woman like that.
Pushing, shoving, looks like a massive fist fight but it’s all love. We’re trusting them with our life. They’re trusting us with theirs. We all get super violent, and have a good time. Then the show lets out, and we’re like “Oh, you wanna go get some late night eats? Anyone know a good gyro spot?”, and we’re just friendly for the rest of the day. We’re like the Canadians of music genres. Violent when we play, and friendly the rest of the time.
Funny. For me mosh pitts don’t have association with metal. I married an ozzy fan though.
There is research and papers showing that heavy music in general can actually be therapeutic and make someone calmer, rather than the perceived opposite effect. It can be a great outlet. I listen to metal, heavy music, all the time but when I have used it as a coping mechanism, i.e. an outlet for stress, it has definitely allowed me to release such tension. Not only that, but singing/screaming to vocals along to the music surely does release all of energy, and while there are outsiders who might perceive the music as ‘angry’ the incorrect connection they’re making is that anger is an energetic emotion, as in unreleased energy/tension. Metal isn’t angry music, it is energetic. That is why it makes such good workout music. It stimulates and satisfies that part of our lives, letting us be some of the ‘nicest, most wholesome and fun people all around’.
And I’ve always loved that mostly the lyrics are not like a lot of music that is just… I love you, I stalk you, I am nothing without you … Puke
You’re all in it together. That’s just the whole vibe
I’d believe the research on a heartbeat. I don’t listen to metal very often and I’m pretty picky about subgenres, but when I’m in a horrible terrible mood, I’ll slap on some of the hardest most pig squealing, swallowing the microphone, quadruple bass pedal stuff I can find. After an hour or so of that, I usually feel much better.
Metal Heads will absolutely be your best friends in time of need. Need help moving a body, no questions asked? Call your metal friend.
That’s funny. That was the first thing that popped in my head. I don’t know how to pronounce any of your favorite Scandinavian bands’ names, but I think we’ll get along just fine.
Not particularly into guys, but I love women who are into them.
No, not really. Do you need a diagram and flowchart? 😁
(Come to think of it: An awesome use case for gen AI would be a bot that generates memes and weird images on demand)
(not my meme, but I’ll add) Some missing context - Professor Chang, pictured in the meme - is also shouting at something that clearly isn’t gay.
Professor Chang is essentially a continuous uncomfortable non-sequiter of nonsense.
Makes a lot more sense with the added context, thank you 😂
If you have never watched community, I am genuinely jealous of the adventure you have ahead of you. Phenomenal show all around! Except for Pierce, he’s a GDB.
Furries are cool people
and the backbone of modern societyThis. To be clear I have absolutely no problem with furries existing and I believe anything less than letting y’all be would be tantamount to treason.
But God damn I just cannot understand it. I don’t get it. And it weirds me out.
Like I said, I would actually fight to defend your right to wear your fur suit out in public. But I’m also going to make fun of you because man it’s just weird.
Although I did have a coworker (I work in IT so this isn’t actually that surprising) who was a furry and he tried to meow at me one time when I called his name. Don’t do that. That was weird. Just tell me what you did to fix the computer man.
Although I did have a coworker (I work in IT so this isn’t actually that surprising) who was a furry and he tried to meow at me one time when I called his name. Don’t do that. That was weird. Just tell me what you did to fix the computer man.
He did. What you don’t understand is that meowing at the problem is often the solution. If meowing doesn’t work, try barking.
I like furries because I appreciate modern technology. If all the furries went to lunch at the same time, we’d be eating each other in the streets before they made it to the diner.
I was never into furry stuff, but I hung out with an online furry community way back in 2006. Furries are cool. Furryism is just not for me.
Same, lots of great people and a nice community. As a whole, they’re very accepting folks too and have no problems with the respectful non-furs.
Lesbians. Hate that they aren’t into me, but damnit I get it.
They also have more in common with you than any gay person ever will.
Huh??? But we are a subset of gay people???
I’m pretty sure this was sarcasm, but last I checked the society means men liking men as gay, and women liking women lesbian.
I’m aware they all are gay, but for real, my message was joke and I don’t really think it could be misunderstood.
For anyone that might have misunderstood, the overly misogynistic joke was that straight men and lesbians know what it’s like to date women. Gay men don’t, and that’s why they are so happy and cheerful.
And no, I’m not serious, nor share the sentiment. It’s a joke. And yes, we can joke about anything.
Says the guy who doesn’t laugh when raping babies. Hypocrite. That’s right, it was MEEEEE jeering you on while wearing the head of a freshly slaughtered buck deer. You’re disgusting, you gay joke making serious guy. Can’t believe you’re this way after how your mother and I raised you.
I think they mean gay as in gay men. A lot of people see gay as strictly masculine and lesbian as strictly feminine.
Which is ironic cause it should kinda be the other way around depending on your point of reference
I’ll be honest with you I don’t even know what I was trying to say originally I just wanted to make that masculine/feminine joke
Not really but that would be hilarious
I’m gay
Rugby players.
I don’t care for sports so much, but a ton of my friends play rugby. Several of my exes play rugby. I’ve got cousins who play rugby. I live in the States and, while rugby is popular, it’s no where near the levels of enthusiasm where like 90% of the people a person hangs out with plays it (and you not also play or have any real interest in it). Mostly to support people I was dating, I’ve been to like ten games in my life and, while I understand how the game is played, I’m just completely uninterested in sports and following sports as a hobby or interest. I don’t know why, but rugby people love me and I love them.
Books. I’m dyslexic as fuck but heavy readers are mostly chill people.
Did you ever get into audio books? It’s nice to have someone else read to you at bedtime or during a commute.
Ooohh ooh audio books are my bag baby yeah.
Podcasts too.
It’s all about timbre and accent. I could listen to the right voice read the phone book.
See, I have ebooks I want in audio, so I have to settle for ‘robot’ android voice when there is no ‘audiobook option’
Any good podcast recs? Any genre/subject is fine.
Ancient civilisations. Noiser network. Paul McGann is the Narrator.
Grand strategy games aren’t for me, but I love reading the insane stories from CKII and Dwarf Fortress.
CK2 and DF aren’t grand strategy games, they’re story generators.
I agree with you about dwarf fortress, but crusader kings is like the definition of the Grand strategy genre, while simultaneously encouraging you to create a story why half of your line is inbred worse than Charles II of Spain.
Sex. Neurodivergent/nerd social circles often have a lot of kink/BDSM and otherwise sex positive people, so my friends group is pretty open about sex.
I’m on the asexual spectrum and would rather forget that sex is a thing, but I love my friends and as long as everyone is consenting and safe, I’m happy for them. I sometimes get awkward when sex convos happen around me, but hey, I get awkward with many other convos too.
I’m a part of the wrong nerd circles. Most of mine consist of one token furry, a couple lbgtqia+'s, an aging jock who clearly hasn’t grown up since highschool(but they were pretty in highschool as well) and a weirdly successful dude who you would never guess it. I don’t think any of them talked about sex with one another.
So there’s a lot of research suggesting neurodivergence has strong correlation with LGBT+ and there’s some indicating the BDSM correlation (not saying they are the same/related, but people who are in touch with themselves enough to identify as LGBT+ are more likely to be open about sexuality in general in my experience). It’s so present in my various social circles that I’ve connected nerd & neurodivergent and thought of those as the common factor.
But I realize there’s another commonality I hadn’t considered: they’re very community-oriented and attend community gatherings. There are three groups I’m thinking of: one has a ton of burners (not actually Burning Man, but smaller local variants), another are Quakers (and more specifically those who attend large regional/national gatherings), and the last are people who religiously attend DragonCon.
Maybe that has more to do with the sex-positivity and openness than the nerd piece? I don’t know. I just know I’m surrounded by it somehow, lol.
One that’s less relevant now, but throughout my life has been relevant: Juggalos.
I was a big metalhead in school, and i had a bunch of juggalo friends. I liked a couple of their songs well enough, but I found the “culture” grating. Still, those mothafuckas were the most accepting and tolerant people I knew. Tolerant of anyone’s way of life, except they fucking hated bigots. In the 90s, being accepting of queer peeps really wasn’t in vogue (to put it lightly) but juggalos welcomed queer peeps as friends with open arms.
Lol same. Juggalos are just awesome and wholesome. The music is soooooo bad tho.
Hahaha yeeee bad… but sometimes very funny. “Fuckin magnets” is timeless
Alright. I looked up what you’re talking about. I believe your referencing the song Miracles. Which is wholesome AF and an absolute banger. 10/10. No notes
Frida Kahlo’s paintings.
Damn this hits. I just had a talk with a passenger (I drive Uber on the weekends) about not getting certain lauded artists. She is up there with Jackson Pollock & Andy Warhol for me.
I only got an emotional reaction from a Pollock painting when I saw it physically, up close. Photos do not convey anything at all. As a physical object it was sublime.
Agree about Warhol.
Ok so the flood of memories was so strong I actually got ahold of a curator at the Norton, and together we pieced together all the information.
The artist is Jimmy Ernst of Max Ernst fame who was also associated with Dorothea Tanning.
The title is “night watch”
And the curator who helped me track it down is currently corresponding with her superior to send me a quality digital scan, but I may need to fill out some paperwork before I am allowed to share it.
Thank you so much for the nostalgia over load, and convincing me to do some fucking legwork to track it down. I’ll update you with what I can in the coming days!
Woah, that’s awesome!!!
Two hours later and no response. Much like my inquiry a decade ago…
I got one of those painting by Max (last name escapes me, but he’s the son of someone fairly famous) called night watch I first saw at the Norton in a tucked away hall way near the exit to the brick maze. It was all black and relied on texture. Sad, I think they since put it away.
Edit: could not have been more wrong. It was Jimmy , son of Max Ernst.
Well now I’m intrigued and all I’m finding is Rembrandt.
Oh cause of the paintings name! Yeah, remember doing a report on it for my art class in the community college. And I had to special request a proper scan be done on it, I don’t think I ever got a response.
No I think him and the dad are still alive. I know he is at the very least.
Smokers. They have decades of being able to strike up an angry conversation in a street with an absolute stranger, whilst never letting it escalate, because, fuckit, brotherhood of smokers.
Plus a healthy appreciation of nature. Sure you can smoke and look at your phone, but you still have to be outside and that means glancing up from time to time to look at the scenery, the night sky, to wave at your neighbours, etc.
Good people smokers, filthy habit.
(Vapers dont count, cos you can’t really share a vape concurrently. Also a lot of them take pride in their devices which I find weird. Real smokers have a decent sense of self-hatred at their habit)
Not sure what kind of smokers you meet. The ones I have to deal with blow cancer in my face right next to children, get aggressive when I ask them not to, spit on the floor every 5s, throw their still lit cigs into trash bins or into nature and cant stop coughing on the train.
Those are just assholes who happen to smoke
There’s some in every crowd.
yeah and I have to say even nice smokers seem to have no issue with flicking their but when they are done. Anytime I see a smoker hold onto their but when there is not some sort of enforcement I am like. That person is the rare saint.
Ah yep, my people. The good ones can cast an indignant parent/kid-free zone up to 15m away. Solitary creatures by nature, they hunt in packs, and if you manage to friend one, you friend them for life.
Fuck yeah, I miss it. Smokers are my people. Risk takers, nihilists, indulgers, hedonists, adventurers, rebels, fun-havers… but I’ve gotten domesticated and want to live a long and clean life. Sigh.
Same, but it’s not really living is it
Clement Freud said “You don’t live longer, it only seems longer.”
It is and it isn’t. My current goals and priorities require as long of a horizon to accomplish them and as much focus as possible. Or do they? if I got back into the risky overdrive mode and accelerated full speed and full joy all at once…
Burn, Burn, Burn by Ronnie Elliott is now stuck in my head.
I miss smoking so much. It really is an awesome habit. Or would be if not for the cancer, COPD, and financial ruin.
Old school vapers at least, ones that still roll their own coils and rewick their rebuildable atomizers, would almost always have a device that they have customized themselves, or gotten a very beautiful custom mod.
Also vaping is a bit different in that you could vape using a device akin to smoking, or you could be vaping up a storm cloud like a shisha or bing would, or anything in between.
It’s a personal thing. At least in the opinion if this vaper.
Oh yeah the vaping crowd is definitely creative, but they don’t share with strangers cos they physically can’t
Boardgaming. I play an occasional boardgame with my friends, but I’m not searching youtube clips for strategies, importing first-print Euro games in the original German and printing English-language stickers for the boards, or watching Essen livestreams every year.
I fell out of D&D around 4th ed, and didn’t really care enough to get “competitive” in something like settlers of Catan. But if someone brings out something fun and simple like sorry, or candy land and I am so down!
